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(CJL) Chris Lewis, Museum Director

Cjl says, "Hello and welcome."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : Chris, what cities are you considering for the future film & comedy museum u spoke of earlier?

Cjl says, "Jlgirl, we are currently discussing the major cities in the US, specifically LA, San Francisco, Seattle, Chicago, Miami, New York, etc..."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : Chris, do u remember how old you were when you first realized your dad was a movie star as well as a dad?

Cjl says, "Jlgirl, yes, I remember being on the set of Cinderfella in 1959 and thinking how neat this whole thing was."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : Will be get to see all the jokes that are submitted here today?

Cjl says, "Jlgirl, we will post them all on a page within a few days."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Julius2 from : Chris, has your Dad heard the song "Blow me a Kiss"? If so, does he think it's funny?

Cjl says, "Everyone: Please type '/ask your question here' (without quotes) to ask me a question."

Cjl says, "For example, to ask me what year the Bellboy was made, type "/ask What year was the Bellboy made?" (without the quotes)"

Cjl says, "Julius2, He has not heard it, but has heard of it and I told him how popular it has become on radio stations in the US."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : is the real video working now?

Cjl says, "Jlgirl, yes it is live right now. Can you see us?"

Moderator presents the speaker with question Debsafan from : will Damn Yankees be coming back to CA?

Cjl says, "Debsafan, I don't think so, but it may go to Las Vegas after it closes on Broadway at the end of 1999."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlewisfan1 from : does Jerry ever have any time to hit the links?

Cjl says, "Jlewisfan1, he doesn't play much golf anymore because of a sore back caused by over 100,000 pratfalls between 1944 and 1997."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Ryan from : Chris can we expect a soundtrack to Damn Yankees with Jerry soon?

Cjl says, "Ryan, we are still waiting to see if it will be recorded in London this upcoming year."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : Chris, has your dad already started rehearsals for the telethon?

Cjl says, "Jlgirl, yes he is in Los Angeles preparing for it right now."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Maestro from : Hey Chris, you look great. Wave to the camera!

Moderator presents the speaker with question Debsafan from : who's the guy in the red shirt next to you?

Cjl says, "Maestro, did you see us?"

Moderator presents the speaker with question Debsafan from : do you and your brothers get together often?

Cjl says, "Debsafan, this is James...."

Cjl says, "Debsafan, yes, I see my brothers that live in Los Angeles fairly often."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Maestro from : came through loud & clear. What were you holding up?

Cjl says, "Maestro, beef jerky, what else?"

Moderator presents the speaker with question Julius2 from : any specials treats planned for the telethon this year?

Cjl says, "Julius2, I honestly don't know the star line-up yet, but it promises to be a great show."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Kikibirde from : How many pictures are in The Total Film-Maker? You two do look GREAT!

Cjl says, "Kikibirdie, ten pictures plus the front cover."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Debsafan from : what does your dad think of the Jerry Lewis Chat Room?

Cjl says, "Debsafan, he thinks it's great--we did the live chat from London on June 13 in his dressing room at the Adelphi."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Stanleybelt from : Chris are you the sole member of the joke jury?

Cjl says, "Stanleybelt, no there are seven of us here that will vote."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlewisfan1 from : any update to non-released movies being put out on video?

Cjl says, "Jlewisfan1, we are expecting at least four from Paramount in the spring of 1998 and possible six more before the end of the year."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Michelle from : did you go to a regular school or a private school

Cjl says, "Michelle, I went to a private grammar and high school."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Julius2 from : Chris, just saw your brother Gary at the State Fair... sounded great!

Cjl says, "Julius2, that's great--which state fair?"

Moderator presents the speaker with question Julius2 from : Indiana

Cjl says, "Julius2, are you Bob or Tom?"

Moderator presents the speaker with question Wyatt from : err beef jerky

Moderator presents the speaker with question Wyatt from : Is Burt Reynolds here today?

Cjl says, "Yes, Burt is nearby."

Cjl says, "Burt says thanks for the beef jerky...."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Maree from : /ask Hi Chris. Is Jerry still in London?

Cjl says, "Maree, he is in Los Angeles preparing for the MDA Telethon. How are things down under?"

Moderator presents the speaker with question Wyatt from : Can I have a piece of beef jerk?

Cjl says, "No, the beef jerky is just for us."

Cjl says, "Everyone at Universal Internet would like to thank Wendy for the beef jerky...."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Maree from : Great Chris. The book is fantastic. thanks.

Cjl says, "Maree, I'm glad it got to you in good shape."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Allison from : Chris, did you carry a lunch to school as a boy, or did you walk?

Cjl says, "Allison, yes, and I carried the lunch through miles of snow..."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Maree from : Hi Chris.

Cjl says, "Hi Maree"

Cjl says, "We are not receiving questions and may be having technical difficulties."

Cjl says, "We have resolved the problem--and will not answer all questions...."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Michelle from : have you done any acting or performing?

Cjl says, "Michelle, yes, some stage work in highschool."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Allison from : and how did the snow taste for lunch? What color was it?

Cjl says, "Allison, go away."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Debsafan from : will your dad go online during the telethon.

Moderator presents the speaker with question Wyatt from : Who caters the food during telethons?

Cjl says, "Debsafan, no, he is a bit tied up with the National Broadcast."

Cjl says, "Wyatt, Pinks Hotdogs."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlewisfan1 from : when will the grab bad merchandise be available?

Cjl says, "Jlewisfan1, we are hoping before the end of this year."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Debsafan from : when will you be announcing the winnes of the joke contest?

Cjl says, "Debsafan, at the end of this chat session, between 3:00 and 3:30."

Cjl says, "We will announce the winners here in the Chat Room. We will let you see the voting process via the live camera feed."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Ryan from : Chris, will there be any more Damn Yankees merchandise of any kind in the Store soon?

Cjl says, "Ryan, we may offer some new items after the London reopening at the Victoria Palace Theater on September 25."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Groucho from : are there any of the special priced books left?

Cjl says, "Groucho, yes, we have them until 1:00 PM tomorrow."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Groucho from : hey, who's adding/changing my questions?

Cjl says, "Groucho, it is our local Cybergremlin."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Michelle from : will jerry do another session with us?

Cjl says, "Michelle, I hope to do another one with him from London the end of this year."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Maree from : Chris, are all the videos in the store NTSC format or can I get them in PAL?

Cjl says, "Maree, I am currently working with Paramount so we can distribute Pal format tapes internationally. We should have this online in the next 2 months."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Debsafan from : how come even though I'm in CA, the telethon is tape delayed?

Cjl says, "Debsafan, each individual television market sets the air time of the beginning of the telethon. At some point, they go live until the end."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : Chris, were u able to get your dad on tape doing the announcers test?

Cjl says, "Jlgirl, I have it on tape but I am trying to get a better copy for on the web site."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Groucho from : Chris, are there any re-releases of jerrys old works in the making?

Cjl says, "Groucho, we are currently working on releasing many films and some older television shows on video."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Stanleybelt from : Has Jerry seen to it that the original prints/print negatives have been properly preserved? Also,

Cjl says, "Stanleybelt, yes they have all been properly preserved."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Maree from : Can you let me know when the PAL tapes are available please (and it's freezing here)

Cjl says, "Maree, yes I will let you know, and if you have subscribed to our mailing list an announcement will go out when they are available."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jose from : Chis - Any chance of Jerry's Talk show being released on video ?

Cjl says, "Jose, we have only five shows on video and they may be released at some point."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : Chris, will your dad make the soundtrack of DY after January?

Cjl says, "Jlgirl, I really don't have an answer yet, but he has spoken of doing it in London."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Groucho from : how many jokes am I competing against so far? Am I winning? Are the better jokes? Oh I want to win so much.....

Cjl says, "Groucho, we have all these jokes competing against his. He has some stiff competition!"

Moderator presents the speaker with question Debsafan from : any word on whether your dad will be doing the movie version of Damn Yankees?

Cjl says, "Debsafan, as far as I know, it is still being discussed with the producers."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Michelle from : why don't they show the telethon in Ontario canada anymore?

Cjl says, "Michelle, I can't really say, but there are over 267 stations that carry the telethon and we lose some and gain some each year in different markets."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlewisfan1 from : will there be any more of the Martin & Lewis tv shows be put out on tape?

Cjl says, "Jlewisfan1, this is one of the things that we are currently discussing with several distributors."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Laaadeeee from : Hi Chris--when can I submit a joke?

Cjl says, "Fill out the form at the top of the page and click on the submit button. Your joke will then be sent to the Universal Internet judges...."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jose from : Chris - Will Gary be singing on the telethon this year ?

Moderator presents the speaker with question Debsafan from : Chriswill you be on the telethon this year?

Cjl says, "Jose, no, Gary will be working on the east coast during labor day."

Cjl says, "Debsafan, yes, I'll be there so look for me."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Stanleybelt from : In keeping with the anniversary of Jerry's lectures at USC, has Jerry done or have any plans to do more work in (film) education?

Cjl says, "Stanleybely, yes, he has lectured at Colombia University and several other East Coast film schools in the past several years. He may even do some in London."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Groucho from : do the judges entertain bribes? Is the beef jerky a bribe? I want to win so much .....

Cjl says, "Groucho, yes, it is a bribe. And no, you're too late."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : youre welcome for the beef jerky - which one do u favor?

Cjl says, "Jlgirl, teriyaki."

Cjl says, "This is Burt doing his impression of a tastless joke!"

Moderator presents the speaker with question Maree from : How old was Jerry when he recorded "Just Sings"?

Cjl says, "Maree, he was 30 years old in 1956."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Michelle from : do you remember Chipper?

Cjl says, "Michelle, of course I do. My dad had several Chippers all English Springer Spaniels."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Michelle from : any chance of you stopping by the purple pit?

Cjl says, "Michelle, yes, I have tried to make it on two occasions, but by the time I got there everyone was gone."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlewisfan1 from : when will the grab bag merchandise be available? shirts, hats, etc.

Cjl says, "Jlewiwsfan1, hopefully by the end of the year"

Moderator presents the speaker with question Laaadeeee from : I'm sorry, but I don't see a submission form anywhere. Just a message that says the page I tried to access is unavailable. Should I try to refesh the page?

Cjl says, "Yes, refreshing the page should bring you back to the auditorium with the correct submission form. If you are unable to make it work, feel free to submit your joke via email. Send to info-jlc@universal-net.com This goes for everyone--joke submissions are welcome this way as well."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : who is Burt?(CG) Does he look that good in real like or is it just the makeup?

Cjl says, "Jlgirl, Burt is actually Brian the president of Universal Internet. And yes, he really does look that good...."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlewisfan1 from : will the second album..More be put on cd..i have the original but would like it for the car (CG) Will you make a trade?

Cjl says, "Jlewisfan1, which album are you referring to?"

Moderator presents the speaker with question Maestro from : Chris, I'm currently reading your Mom's book. Do you think it's a fair representation of your lives?

Cjl says, "Maestro, my mom's book is pretty close to the way things were, but even with the best publishers it loses something in the translation."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Stanleybelt from : Have you noticed that big things happen to Jerry in ten year increments? In '46 he teamed up with Dean, in '56 he went solo, in '66 he did his first pic away from Paramount, in '76 he was reunited with Dean, in '96 Damn Yankees went wild, etc... (CG) What's going to happen in 2006?

Cjl says, "Stanleybelt, I never thought of it that way, but you're right and there is no end in sight...."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : is anyone else having trouble entering questions and watching live video at the same time?

Cjl says, "Jlgirl, I don't know--is anyone having trouble?"

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlewisfan1 from : the one after J.L. sings..More J.L.??

Cjl says, "Jlewisfan1, eventually we may bring out all of his albums, but there are no plans for this right now."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jose from : My video started when i came in and then it suddently stopped !

Cjl says, "Jose, press PLAY again. It will restart."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : Chris, what network (television) does yourdad feel treated him most kindly?

Cjl says, "Jlgirl, his longest relationship was with NBC, both in the 1950s and 1960s."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : how many people work at the carmel site? (CG) and do they work for candy and jerky...

Cjl says, "Jlgirl, 9 and yes, they are often compensated with jerky, nuts, and lots of CHOCOLATE."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jose from : Hey Chris - I stopped by the MDA website last night - it's beautifully prepared - Do you manage that one too ?

Cjl says, "Jose, no, I do not have anything to do with the MDA web site. Compuserve is one of the sponsors of the MDA telethon..."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : what kind of nuts?!

Cjl says, "Jlgirl, mixed."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : heather, don't you have a question?

Cjl says, "Is Heather with us?"

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : Chris, isn't the film/comedy museum a permanent city location?

Cjl says, "Jlgirl, what museum are you referring to?"

Moderator presents the speaker with question Kikibirde from : When the movie of "DY" comes out will it be put out in the theaters or just for video release?

Cjl says, "Kikibirdie, we are told that it will be a theatrical release."

Cjl says, "Does anyone have any more questions? How do you all like the live feed? Do you find it adds to the event?"

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : any chance that a filmed production of the live performance would be released after the movie's video ?

Cjl says, "Jlgirl, I don't think that is possible due to the theatrical unions."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Michelle from : any way of allowing slower modems to pick up the feed?

Cjl says, "Michelle, what speed modem do you have? Unfortunately, anything slower than 28.8 is simply not sufficient to receive video."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Maree from : Love the live feed. Mine is working OK. A bit slow. Good to see you. (CG) Just kidding ... Glad you can't see me. (CG) Just kidding

Cjl says, "Hey, the Cybergremlin stikes again... Glad you can see us, Maree."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Ryan from : The clips of DY that were used in the A&E Biography, where did they come from?

Cjl says, "Ryan, A&E shot about 10 minutes of the show while it was on Broadway."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jose from : The video is great -and it's working - Hey Chris - any chance of Jerry doing the medley he did on last year's telethon again ? He was great !

Cjl says, "Jose, he might do the same medley but I have not seen the script yet for this year's show."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Stanleybelt from : How many unrealized Lewis/Richmond scripts or film ideas are there roughly (if any)? They should be published in some form one of these days.

Cjl says, "Stanleybelt, I believe there are several in my father's library, but I don't know if they will ever be seen."

Cjl says, "Ryan, if you really want to see Damn Yankees as it was on Broadway, you can go to the Lincoln Center Library in New York and view the tape, but it will never be broadcast or duplicated."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Maree from : What's 'A&E'?

Cjl says, "Maree, the Arts and Entertainment network."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : did anyone ask you how are you today, Chris?

Cjl says, "Jlgirl, I am just fine, thank you for asking."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Maree from : How long does the telethon go for? I'm so annoyed I can never see one down here in Aus.

Cjl says, "Maree, 21 1/2 hours and it is sent via satellite to Australia but I don't know which stations carry it."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : any chance he'll do "because we're kids" on the telethon this year?

Cjl says, "I don't think so, but you never know what my father will do."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : what are you all looking at? (CG) and can I see it?

Cjl says, "Jlgirl, I was looking at Burt here."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Ryan from : Would Jerry possibly do anything from DY on the Telethon this year?

Cjl says, "Ryan, I heard that there might be a number from the show on the telethon, but I don't know for sure."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Stanleybelt from : It was nice to see Bill Richmond on the A&E Bio. He rarely gets interviewed. Why is that?

Cjl says, "Stanleybelt, I don't know, except that Bill is very involved with the behind-the-scenes aspect of the entertainment business and is not ususally on camera these days."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : Are Jo Stabile and Irving Kaye still living?

Cjl says, "Jlgirl, Joey is doing great at 81 and Irving is living around the corner from my father's house in Las Vegas at the ripe old age of 97."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlewisfan1 from : will your dad be on the cover of Parade mag again this year?

Cjl says, "Jlewisfan1, I believe so."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Debsafan from : when you were growing up, did you watch your dad make movies?

Cjl says, "Debsafan, yes, I was on every one of my father's film sets from the time I was born."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : is joe still working?

Cjl says, "Jlgirl, yes he is still my father's manager and dear friend. And I just spoke to him this morning."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : why was Pippin, for example, allowed video release then?

Moderator presents the speaker with question Michelle from : is lou brown involved in DY if not what's he doing?

Cjl says, "Jlgirl, each individual show carries its own set of luggage as far as who owns the rights, who wrote the music, and who must be paid in order to make a video release possible. Damn Yankees has enough baggage to keep this from ever being an affordable option."

Cjl says, "Michelle, Lou Brown will be on the telethon this year as he has been since 1950. He is 86 years old and semi-retired."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlewisfan1 from : when will the joke winners be announced..I have to run off to work soon

Cjl says, "Jlewisfan1, we will vote in 15 minutes."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Debsafan from : what's your dad's secret for staying so fit and looking young (CG) Is it the nuts?

Cjl says, "Debsafan, his serious answer is that he thinks like a nine year old and his normal answer is that he gargles with lighter fluid every morning."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Cybergremlin from : Wow you guy's look different from out here!!!

Moderator presents the speaker with question Debsafan from : so how many jokes have come in so far?

Cjl says, "Can you see?"

Cjl says, "over 30 jokes"

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlewisfan1 from : if I have to go before then will the winners be posted somewhere?

Cjl says, "yes, they will be posted on the page that also shows the jokes."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Laaadeeee from : Chris, do you know Barney McNulty? He is the man credited with practically inventing cue-cards. He says he's worked with Jerry countless times. Barney has white hair and horn rimmed glasses. He's also very eccentric. Recognize him?

Cjl says, "I don't know for sure-- the name does sound familiar."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jose from : Chris - besides Jerry's DY tour, any new projects we should be looking forward to ? And any new stuff on the website (new videos, sound clips) ?

Cjl says, "Jose, he is working on several films to be produced in the next few years, and we will be adding some new sound and video clips."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Jlgirl from : how many books are you and your dad presently working on?

Cjl says, "Jlgirl, two, possibly three."

Moderator presents the speaker with question Kikibirde from : Was Gary in The Nutty Professor, if so what part?

Cjl says, "Kikibirdie, no, Gary was not in the Nutty Professor but he was in Rock-a-Bye Baby and played the young Clayton Poole."

Cjl says, "We will now adjourn on camera to review the jokes and vote on the winners. Feel free to stay and chat with one another. We will announce the THREE WINNERS within the next 15 minutes."

Cjl says, "okay we're down to 8 finalists!!"

Cjl says, "we're down to four!!!"

Cjl says, "press play on your realplayer,."

Cjl says, "we have our number#1 joke, now working on #2"

Cjl says, "Ok, we have our winners! Here we go..."

Cjl says, "And the 3rd place winner is Ryan with the following joke:"

Cjl says, "When I go, I want to die sleeping peacefully like Gramps did; and not screaming like the passengers in his car."

Cjl says, "He wins the Jerry Lewis A&E Biography"

Cjl says, "And the 2nd place runner up is Jlgirl with the following joke:"

Cjl says, "A guy in a convertible is stopped at a stop sign. A woman driving a van filled with children goes through it. The guy yells to her: "Hey, lady, didn't you ever learn how to stop!?" She yells back, "Hey smart mouth, what makes you think they're all mine?""

Cjl says, "Jlgirl wins the 9 cd Martin & Lewis Radio Show Collection."

Cjl says, "Remember, the TOTAL FILM-MAKER, signed by Jerry Lewis, is still available for $100 until 1:00 PM PDT tomorrow."

Cjl says, "Here we go...!"

Cjl says, "And the first place winner of the signed limited edition Nutty Professor Movie Poster is: Maree with the following joke:"

Cjl says, "This grasshopper goes into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. "Hey," says the bartender. "Did you know we have a drink named after you?" The grasshopper says, "What, Kevin?""

Cjl says, "Congratulations to our Aussie friend down under who is the first place winner and thank you to everyone for your joke submissions. We thoroughly enjoyed all of them."

Cjl says, "We have to depart now, but I want to thank you all for coming--we will do this again soon!"